Life is unexpected. It's crazy and it's cruel. It's beautiful and it's amazing, all at the same time. I have recently turned a page in my book. I've closed a chapter, and am now beginning a new one. This chapter has been unlike any other, while that could be debatable in some eyes, but that's irrelevant to my story. We see ourselves in a different light than any outside person. I'd like to call this previous chapter The Phoenix: Rising from the Ashes.During the past six months, I have fallen harder and farther than I have in life, ever. I refused to recognize it until my health was at greater risk than could be ignored, and my relationships were all in ruins. In a deep, dark hole, I began to grasp for any hand I could hold onto. I finally, as a broken person, got myself help. Thus re-beginning the healing process from my disease. The intense two and a half month process in treatment may have saved my life. There have been moments I have wanted to crawl out of my skin, literally. Moments that I've questioned my reason for being, moments of struggle that I thought were impossible to get through. There were days I was brought to my knees with my eyes full of tears. And then those days became less frequent. I began to allow others to help me. To see the darkness I have kept secret inside of me. I became vulnerable. I shared painful secrets, I allowed others to see me in the most broken state of being, which actually drew them closer to me. I have a guide on this journey that has helped me in incredible ways. I have been reminded of the tools inside me that I've had all along, the tools to recovery; the tools to my happiness. I then felt myself growing stronger. Rising as I regained health.
I am stronger, I am healing, I am rising from the ashes. It's a process.
The phoenix must burn to emerge.
